forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
