So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
