Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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