Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
