Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
