what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
