It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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