Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Porn is love you can see.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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