Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
