i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
