i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
