this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we made out on top of his cat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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