I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
two words...techno handjob
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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