Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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