First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
