I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
