i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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