...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
