there's paper in my vomit.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
