This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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