she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
