You smell like stripper and shame
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
