you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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