Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
