I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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