brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
