I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
