You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
