so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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