just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
