fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
