East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Your cock deserves a montage
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
