on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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