Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
