So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
