pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She bit a glass in half.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
