Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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