uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
