fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
