other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
