You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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