I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
