That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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