Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
