There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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