I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
