god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
