im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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