so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
