i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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