Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
