we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't deserve a penis
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
