dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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