What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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