When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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