My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
send nudes
from the living room?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
