You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
