I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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