you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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